My mind is a bit wondering these
days, donno why – maybe I have not probed it enough, maybe I’m in denial of
something, may be it is expecting something to happen or god knows what it is up
to….
We call our self as “humans”. Human
… a big word!!! Used by many, on many occasions when they are giving gyan to
others on –
“how to be a better human, how to live life, how to make sure once you
die then you will NOT rot in hell and go to a better place called heaven”
I times when this so called gyan
is getting distributed I wonder – what does the speaker expects from his
listeners…? Does he expect from his pupils - believe what ever being said and
follow it with their heart and soul or is it an act of exchanging the mutual satisfaction
where speaker get the satisfaction from the illusion of helping others and the pupils
getting the satisfaction of hearing a great man and soaking few words of wisdom.
It is not that I do not believe in spiritual leadership but the problem is almost
all the gyan gurus now days have their hidden self-interest / agenda behind it….
Some seek for materialist pleasure, some seek power and some just want to sap
on the blind admiration and devotion of the pupils. Any act done with the motive
of a self-interest will not get any one any brownie points in the God’s log
book.
It has been a long time (may be
never) since I have seen the self-less act. May be I’m my thinking process is
more of a separatist, maybe I’m thinking the negative - trying to find faults
in every act when there are none, may be it is too much of critique approach
from my side, donno….
I was never able to digest this
gyan exchange process. My philosophy towards making an opinion has been simple,
it is –
“Do not be judgemental, do not make opinions on the acts - instead
make an opinion of the situations; give good amount of time when feelings are
involved - time is the best judge, listen to your heart - whenever you are thinking
about feelings, always look from the near and far – it is not that the person or
whatever you are looking at will change with distance, it is the eco system,
the situation, the view which may change and impact your opinion; All are nice
from heart but sometimes end up goofing things up due the feelings and interests,
it is fine to make mistakes – but if you make a mistake then try to learn the
most from it, do not try categorize the person as good or bad – categorize the
thinking process and the situation, still if you end up judging any one – judge
yourself, ask yourself how you could have been acted / reacted in a better way…”
~lokesh v. (XVI)
Yeah I have no shame in acknowledging
that I had not lived the life as I wanted to be – but does it mean I can not learn
from it, HELL NO!!! I want to live it in
my way, learning from the mistakes I make along the way - not for anyone but
for one simple reason:-
“When I grow old – while sitting somewhere in the balcony, in the
company of loved ones, looking at the sky lit bright with stars, observing the dance
of new budding lives and looking back at past - I dream of not seeing it as a spend cigarette which
has left a lot of mess and a suffocating piece of polluted air, instead I dream
of seeing it as an old book – with worn out pages, a tad of brown shade on them,
about to get torn in to pieces, but capturing a lot of good memories and smell
of the some old preserved flowers in between the pages….”
If I manage that I can say “I
have not survived but lived my life and I had already seen heaven…”.
