So here am I again, sitting on my reading chair with laptop in my
lap, listening to the oldies from 50’s - after wrapping an Interesting read
from an old timer and thinking to start a new one or let the mind ponder on the
thoughts of the read I just completed…..All the books I have read in last few months
have blessed me with a new perspective of thinking and understanding the human
emotions, mind and reactions in a new different way.. The last one I read dealt
closely with the under currents of the human relations and sexuality.
Now coming to the thought process with which I started this note;
what I learned from this book was
Human mind and soul are like sea, when you are about to get close
to them all you see is lots and lots of waves of emotions and reactions, and whence
you cross the initial boundary and move towards the uncharted waters, you may
not see all the violent currents which attracted / despised you in the first
place but it does in NO WAY means that the inside is hollow and there is nothing
left to be known; in fact it is usually the opposite – the inside is far deep
than you can imagine– the top layer of sea is just cover for the depth of the
underlying currents and it contains a vast and complex ecosystem of multiple
traits inside. Sometimes a very small change in tis ecosystem causes a butterfly
effect sort of impact causing a big storm on the shore.
We most of the times tend to look at the change from outside
and attempt to address the problem from the same place instead of understanding
the root cause and addressing it; this may help in putting a wrapper on the
issue like putting over ripen food in the back of the fridge, but is actually
does not fixes the problem and ends up stinking the whole damn place with its
smell. This process is the commonly referred as “mutual understanding”;
Sounds weird? isn’t it…? – I mean what a term like “mutual
understanding” had got to do with the warning signals of a stinking relationship
which is in a downward spiral? Well it is quite simple actually, if you think a
bit deeper on trying on understand this so called “mutual understanding”; you will end up
observing that what most of us call “Mutual Understanding” is nothing but a
blanket covering the state of status – quo of a tug of war between the expectations
and commitments between two personalities.
Now the important aspects is how many times we catch these warning
signals and make a sincere effort to fix them instead of getting indulged in to
the blame games and trying to prove our self a victim of situation – I would say
very rare of the times…. So from what I have learned from life, reads, experiences
(mine and others), for any kind of relationship / feelings to work over a
period of time we need to be on a constant look out for these warning signals,
trying to a understand the core of the issues and then discussing these core
issues, instead of letting the staleness kill the beautiful aroma of love…..
~lokesh v (XXXVIII)
