Turtle and the Sea

Once upon a time there was a turtle, when he was born at some sea side at  the time when there was a storm going on in the sea; at that time the turtle felt scared of the storm and sea and decided never to go in to the sea to avoid the storm altogether, over next few days and weeks all his friends bid their good bye, went into the sea and started doing things turtles are supposed to and this guy alone choosing to staying  behind

Seasons changed and the time passed and somehow the turtle survived living off the shore. After some time when the mating season came other turtles started visiting the shore again he met again some of his friends. He told them (proudly) that he felt very secure here, the food is in plenty at the shore and he is the star attraction of the people visiting the shore.

One of his old mate and his best buddy kept on hearing patiently and after some time asked him  - I understand you are healthy and happy here, people love you a lot but is that what you really want? Are you really NOT going to enjoy your life due to one storm?

Yes off course storms will come, but they also will pass away as well, Yes there are fishes in the sea which can eat us up, but there are also the most beautiful things in the sea which can NOT even dream to see in your life. You can always remain at the shore being scared but remember it is NOT  up to others to find the meaning of your life from the events happening around but it is only up to you on how you see or perceive them, the devil and the saint are only inside you; it is okay to be scared but it is a SIN to live a life in a shell being scared or something, instead of overcoming the fear and enjoying the god given opportunity… remember it is only up to you on making the choice between “to die daily with fear” or “having one life time in its full beauty, glory and valor"

~lokesh v. (L)

Silsilay

Thandi haawaye gun-gaana raahi hai koi meethi see dhun

Aate jaate pal suna raahe hai kuch puranee afsaane

Yaad aa raahi hai kuch kush-numa beete paloo ki kahaniya

Maan kehta hai - laut chalo beeti paalo kee aashiyaane maine

Par koi kaise samjahyee iss manchale ko

Pal to pal hai – aate jaate hee rehenge

Yeh layenge aapne saath hamesha kuch naayi kahaniya

Yeh Dil bhi hai ek awaara badal

Dhoond hee leega yeh mouski ke naaye aasmaan

Kuch nayi manzile bhi hai palchin kee us par

In sookhe madaano kee aage kar raahi hai intezaar - Zindagi kee kuch nayi haryaliya

Mat rook aapne badte kadmo koo – purane mausamo ki chaah maine

Aur jee lee aapni zindagi aase – jaise jee leete hai ek papihaa

               

Garmiyo ke unfaan ko, taaki phir mast hoo saake - aane waali shabnam kee boondo see

~lokesh v (XLII)

Monsoon, Drive, Bangalore and Re-Discovering Life

I think this is as good time as any to accept that I was a lot crankier since the Sunday morning, now don’t ask me the reason – I do not know myself but my suspect it is not getting something which I was expecting this weekend, but not sure…. Any ways moving on, since last two days I was a loose cannon all over place throwing back stinking, acidic bombs of words even on a slight  piece of contempt or disagreement; honest I was not my usual self (I’m may not be a great guy but not that much stinky either…)

Something happened today evening, which helped me in a lot of ways – not a miracle of any kind but was a small event coupled with weather and environment which helped me in being myself again, so here is the my account of the evening…

It was somewhere between 5:30 and 6:00 in evening when I decided to call it a day, wanted to leave a bit early today (the day appears a bit longer when you are feeling cranky isn’t it?). When I came out of the office building was pleasantly surprised that it had just started raining; though it made my task a bit tricky in getting to the parking area as it was a brisk walk of 5 – 7 minutes from the building to the parking bay and I had left my umbrella in the car itself in the morning. Waited there for a sometime to get hold on company umbrella and moved to the parking, raining was not brisk at this time – it was more like a when a girl is flirting with her love, coming near and then holding back again, acting all playful in her own feisty way. Soon after I cranked up the car on the NICE road it started pouring down. The only word to describe it is “mesmerizing”…..

The wind, the drive and the falling rain drops making the knuckling sound took my mind in a new zone. I felt as if rain and the city were the long lost lovers who have met after a long time and they are kissing and hugging each other passionately, rain showering its affection on the city and city embracing it with an immense urge (an urge to be loved). It made is all serene despite all the noise and the tricky driving conditions and over the next 10 mins I felt like my mind is being cleansed by the pouring drops from all the sorrows, frustrations, crankiness, negative energies.

Once I reached at the apartment complex another thing happened…

I parked my car just after entering the complex to buy something from the neighbouring shop. I saw a very old man walking with the help of a stick, holding hands of his granddaughter (she was around 5 years old) trying to stop the cars getting inside the complex with little success, I was not able to stop myself and kept on looking for a minute or two and then noticed that the elderly gentleman was in-fact blind and it was his granddaughter who was trying to stop the vehicles to help her Dadu in getting to the home safely. I have seen all different sorts of emotions in my life but I can honestly say I have not seen an emotion as pure as it was in the eyes of that young kid… Her Dadu was trying to save her but was not able to contribute much as it was still raining and partially due to his physical limitation. I walked up to them and offered them lift in my car to drop them to their respective block, They graciously accepted and during the short drive the elderly gentleman told me his granddaughter had a drawing class just opposite to the complex and he comes with her the everyday which he has not missed for last few months; since the rain came suddenly they are not sure if they can get home due to his limitation and he was worried sick for his granddaughter as well; he son has still not reached home and struck in the traffic and can NOT pick them up.

I stopped my car in the underground parking, next to lift of the tower they lived, took him to the lift while holding his hand and left the place once the lift came and moved upwards….

While moving my car to my parking area I realized how beautiful the moment was – it was not the weather or the rain which made it beautiful; instead it was the love, care and worry in the eyes of both for each other which made the moment special.

Once I reached home, Maa was there with a smiling face and I felt clean – clean from the negative vibes, all the crankiness the lingering headache which was following me for the last few days like a well-trained professional spy. I felt light in the heart, full of life and in love with monsoon and Bangalore all over again…

~lokesh v.(XXXIX)

New discovery about myself and "Touch Me Not"

Well courtesy to the “Bharat bandh” called by the political parties I when woke up today as per my usual schedule and was about to leave for office I realized that it has been declared as non working day in the office. After a few minutes of hustle and bustle to inform my team and ensuring they got the message as well I settled on couch and spend some time on the FB and other social activities online. Once the feeling subs-sided then I realized / discovered couple of things about myself:-

• I’m a coffee person now and need my morning mocha to become any kind of functional unit in the morning. I did had habit of having a morning coffee once I reach office but never realized that this ritual has slowly creeped in to my mandatory “to-do” list, there I go as if current addition list was not sufficient enough…. :(
• It has been a really long-long time since I have woken up early w/o an agenda and I was left wondering post morning hustle – bustle – what to do with all this morning time…..? This I felt a bit too weird considering I’m at my home, in my own den and still feeling lost somehow. Slowly it made me realize it does not matter where we are and what we do gradually we become mechanized instruments following our regular schedules and activities (at least for the week days) – and any sudden changes throws mind off the track, especially when there is no event which requires an immediate reaction from us.

Anyways after suffering the blabbering of the multiple news channel where anchor’s tends to repeat the same news over and over and over for some time, I had my breakfast; plugged in my playlist and started reading the novel (The Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D H Lawrence). Around 20 minutes later somewhere around the page 50 – 55 in the novel I landed on the conversation talking about the “touch”. The conversation revolved around how humans have become immune to touch. “Touch” in the this context done not mean a physical contact but touching some one’s soul…..I totally agree here - Yes we indeed get in touch with many during our lives but rarely get in to “touch” with some!!!!  This triggered stupid wandering mind of mine in to a small journey - cruising through multiple thoughts; and I landed up putting the book aside and working on this note.

Anyways going back to the thought process – I had two streams of thoughts:-

• I feel may be we are a bit too much scared now a days of getting hurt to let anyone near to our soul. We build big strong walls of ignorance, ego, pride, materials to ensure minimal breach and keeping our true self far and secure from the reach of others. Most of us will not accept or realize it but when we stand in front of the mirror, ask this questions looking deep in to our eyes we will realize – “This is more of less true!!!!” Now the question which comes to my mind is – “By building these walls are we really protecting our self or are we really enslaving our self???”….. had to remember when you bolt a door in a room – no one from outside can come inside but at the same time you cannot go outside as well…..
•  Well I feel in this specific matter we are the victims and the culprits both… We do not allow other to touch our souls and at the same time we do not try (in fact avoid) to touch others as well….now the question I’m asking myself is – “Why? Is it that bad..? Why are we afraid to reach out to others…..? Is it because we do NOT want to or is it because we are scared…..?” I do not think it is an issue of the willingness but feel it is more about the fear…. Fear because there is no one way traffic here… when one tries to touch some first he / she has to lower his / her guard, one can not touch a life without being touched by it…. Like a window or a door – once opened it is always a two way traffic…..

On parting notes somehow this reminds me of the days (around 12+ years back) when I had recently passed out of college and had a big big fight with one of my closest friend…. At that time we had our difference and when I told my friend that all is over he / she fought with me, not because of the disagreements but because he / she was not willing to let the things end between us and was willing to fight for it…. This person was a very easy to go kind of  person who believed in going with the flow, enjoying life, did not believed in calling back and letting the time takes it due course. The message I received at that point was “take the timeout if you want but don’t dare you call it quits, else I will make sure to beat the hell out of you….” today when we are still good friends and 12 years have passed; when I look back in time – “I’m neither thankful for the company, nor for the friendship or support but I’m thankful to my friend only and only for one thing – "For that fight!!!; for fighting with me while fighting for us when the chips were down…."

~lokesh v. (XXX)

Memories (some half baked thoughts)

Memories….. off the God’s gifts which differentiates us from other life forms, it is a gift which makes us a “human”. Mind captures unlimited of these over a period of time, we declare some as good, some as bad, some as sad, some as embarrassing, some as painful, etc etc…..Well I was reading a book few hours back and where the protagonist is writing about his memories from the past and it got me thinking – there is actually another way of classifying these:-

     -  First type is the one which we recall / recreate / remember with our open eyes – like in a laboratory, like performing some science experiment, trying to recall the exact steps, exact scenario in a way to relive the moment.

         -  The second type is the one which we recall with our eyes closed. These do not require anything at all, recalling these do not even require any effort from mind at all. They are always there and closing of eyes is all needed to bring them back. These are never precise and are always like a blur, these bring the emotions in us.

Among the about two types – we often misjudge - which are more important, according to me it is always the second type which play a more crucial role in anything we do, anyway we react. The first ones may help in achieving the success and the materialist things but the second ones help us in evolving our self from emotional and physiological standpoint. It does not matter after a certain point of time if you remember the answers to materialist questions but what makes the life beautiful is recalling the moments which you had with your family and friends - your first crush, your first bunk from classes, first night out with friends, your first kiss, the time when you held your kid for the first time, etc etc…These are the moment which add beauty to life.

Yes there will be some very painful ones which may scar you for rest of your life like losing a loved one before time, but the important part is asking yourself what would you prefer – have the loved ones for time being in your life or not having them at all. Face these unwanted and painful events like an eruption of a volcano – when it erupts in the vicinity of life, it kills all of it but at the same time it also creates new fertile grounds so that something new can grow and replace the old. There is nothing to feel bad in loving someone who is not with you now, but if you see from the perspective of the lost one – did he or she wanted you to live the life the way you are? If not then it is time to clean at least a cornet if not the complete room of the heart which is not occupied from a long long time and to see if some one can fill that space…..

Bottom line – Do not run from the memories, but do not remain hung over these as well, cherish the good times from the past and look forward to create some new ones in the future….

~lokesh v (XXI)