Indigo FM @ Bangalore bought up an question sometime back while I was driving back home, which got me thinking. Question was “Will you prefer to be the one who loves you but you don’t love back or will rather be alone because you cannot have the one you love?”
It was the poll question of the day and listeners were replying in the snotty, bindaas, goofy, emotional way but it got me thinking – which one is the right way after all – “sticking with the one for whom you have no love or living alone because you cannot be with the person you love” or “is the question valid at all”. Well most of the listeners responded “living alone” but it got me thinking – if one have ever been in love and lost it, will definitely understand how worthy is the feeling of being loved will NOT let it go so easily.
Anyways this made me go in to my scribbling mode that evening and below are the results:-
Defining “Love”:-
“Love” - can it be defined at all? This is a question for which I never got the same and sane answer, doesn’t mattered if asked the question to how many friends - the answer was either insane (at least from my perspective) or it was very specific to the person view on the same or the usual – “it can’t be explained”.
I tried myself answering it sometimes but came up with a different response, do not know why - May be I have never been on love or maybe I have loved and lost or maybe I was in love but never realized it or maybe the bitter experiences of life has eroded the part of me capable of feeling love. Still a big part of me feels that it is okay to be insane in love – as some people say when being in love, the sanity is shown the door; what’s the point in following the heart if you are gonna listen to the brain. Overall I feel we all evolve (for good or bad) and the meaning of love changes with time
- teen years – one misses a school bus to walk with the beloved one to get some moments of un divided attention
- college years – worrying less about own sessionals and more for the beloved
- initial work years - spending most of savings to visit the beloved over weekend
- mid life – finding comfort even in the silent presence of the beloved
- old age – donno– as have not reached there yet
I believe though we grow and mature with time but the feeling of love we experience in our early days of the life is the purest of all – it does not tries to aligns itself to the rational and logic of the materialist world. To quote few examples - I can easily admit I do not remember how many crushes I had in last 5 – 10 years but can easily recall my first one when I was young enough to be going school in shorts; #2 I still remember the day my brother (who was in LKG at that time – My apologies bro) came weeping at home saying the gal he likes has refused to marry him –innocent and cute. Summing it up I believe “Our rationals /growing logical abilities / experiences erode over time the part of heart which makes it beat faster and slower for beloved!!!!” (Yeah, sounds a bit flimsy; but what the hell, lets go with it…)
“You can fall in love only once…”:-
I strongly disagree here – my definition of being in love will be to just love – and not expecting anything in return. Yes, it sounds a bit corny on the first read. I believe love brings out the best in person, and if the feelings does not transform in to a lifelong relation then one should take the best out of it and move on instead of holding grudge or getting in to a self pity mode A.K.A. depression for life. For all the broken hearts – see it this way - It is a beautiful experience to fall in love, that’s okay if things did not went thru as expected, but take the best out of it, try to retains the good habits it has instilled in you, wish your “ex” all the happiness of the world and move on to find the harbor where your ship will anchor for the rest of your life – remember “love deserves joy, cheer and celebration and not dejection, sadness and pittance.”
Chao
