Friday, March 23, 2012

My Philosophy of life




My mind is a bit wondering these days, donno why – maybe I have not probed it enough, maybe I’m in denial of something, may be it is expecting something to happen or god knows what it is up to….

We call our self as “humans”. Human … a big word!!! Used by many, on many occasions when they are giving gyan to others on –

how to be a better human, how to live life, how to make sure once you die then you will NOT rot in hell and go to a better place called heaven

I times when this so called gyan is getting distributed I wonder – what does the speaker expects from his listeners…? Does he expect from his pupils - believe what ever being said and follow it with their heart and soul or is it an act of exchanging the mutual satisfaction where speaker get the satisfaction from the illusion of helping others and the pupils getting the satisfaction of hearing a great man and soaking few words of wisdom. It is not that I do not believe in spiritual leadership but the problem is almost all the gyan gurus now days have their hidden self-interest / agenda behind it…. Some seek for materialist pleasure, some seek power and some just want to sap on the blind admiration and devotion of the pupils. Any act done with the motive of a self-interest will not get any one any brownie points in the God’s log book.

It has been a long time (may be never) since I have seen the self-less act. May be I’m my thinking process is more of a separatist, maybe I’m thinking the negative - trying to find faults in every act when there are none, may be it is too much of critique approach from my side, donno….

I was never able to digest this gyan exchange process. My philosophy towards making an opinion has been simple, it is –

“Do not be judgemental, do not make opinions on the acts - instead make an opinion of the situations; give good amount of time when feelings are involved - time is the best judge, listen to your heart - whenever you are thinking about feelings, always look from the near and far – it is not that the person or whatever you are looking at will change with distance, it is the eco system, the situation, the view which may change and impact your opinion; All are nice from heart but sometimes end up goofing things up due the feelings and interests, it is fine to make mistakes – but if you make a mistake then try to learn the most from it, do not try categorize the person as good or bad – categorize the thinking process and the situation, still if you end up judging any one – judge yourself, ask yourself how you could have been acted / reacted in a better way…”

~lokesh v. (XVI)

Yeah I have no shame in acknowledging that I had not lived the life as I wanted to be – but does it mean I can not learn from it, HELL  NO!!! I want to live it in my way, learning from the mistakes I make along the way - not for anyone but for one simple reason:-

“When I grow old – while sitting somewhere in the balcony, in the company of loved ones, looking at the sky lit bright with stars, observing the dance of new budding lives and looking back at past -  I dream of not seeing it as a spend cigarette which has left a lot of mess and a suffocating piece of polluted air, instead I dream of seeing it as an old book – with worn out pages, a tad of brown shade on them, about to get torn in to pieces, but capturing a lot of good memories and smell of the some old preserved flowers in between the pages….”

If I manage that I can say “I have not survived but lived my life and I had already seen heaven…”.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

The Delimma



Was discussing something with one of my close friend – trying to understand him and help him out in his need of hour. Well I cannot talk about the problem he has; but sharing the thought process, the issue is – he is struck between the heart and the mind. While talking to him, I just realized – “It is never EASY!!!!”; doesn’t matter who is dealing with it and what the problem is. Heart always behaves like a drunk gambler willing to bet his life to get what it wants and the mind always acts like a tiger–mother defining strict “no go” zones.

This ever going war between the heart and the mind puts every person in to a dilemma and hence the thoughts below:-

Bhujhe bhujhe din kee chaya maine
          kuch door dikhtee see hai haawa main udte baadal – jaise sapne khel raahe hoo neend ke aangan main

Dekh kar unhe soochta hoo - kya hooga falak ke us par
kya raat ke chandni kar raahi hai mera intezar,
yaa phir ban ke reh jounga ek parwana, shama kee aagosh main aapni pehchaan khoota hua…
 ~lokesh v. (XV)


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Ulfat



Kyo chali jaa raahi ho un anjaan raahoo par
jaaha dikhti nahin hai koi manzil naayi

Kyo nahin dekhti ek baar peeche mud kar
Kya pata dikh jaaye koi ulfat* naayi

Laut aao zindagi kee palchin* main
mil jayaga tumhe koi hum-saaya yahin


Vocab
Ulfat = Lovely to be with
Palchin= Moments of Life


~lokesh v. (XIV)

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Zindagi



Zindagi laati hai naaye mod, har mukam par
zindagi dikhati hai naaye sapne, har shaam par

Zindagi sikhati hai naaye andaaz, har kaam par
zindagi milwati hai naayi umeedo see, har anjaam par

Zindagi see naa shikwa karna, zindagi to zindagi hai - joo deeti hai hume mouke baar baar
kaise hum le en mouko koo, yeh hai humare aitmaad par…..

Vocab:-
Mukam=locality
Andaaz=manner
Anjaam=conclusion
Shikwa=complain
Aitmaad=confidence



~lokesh v. (XIII)

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Kuch sapno ke mar jaane se jeevan nahi mara karta hai

One of my favorite poem from the childhood days (somewhere from class 7th or 8th)

Chip Chip ashru bahaane waalon
Moti vyarth lutane waalon !
Kuch sapnon ke mar jane se jeevan nahin mara karta hai

Sapnaa kya hai ? Nayan sez par,
Soya hua aankh ka paani
Aur tootna hai uska jyon
Jage kachchi neend jawani
Geelee umar banaane walon! Doobe bina nahaane waalon
Kuch pani ke bah jane se saawan nahin mara karta hai

Mala bikhar gayi to kya hai
Khud hi hal ho gayi samasyaa
Aansoo gar neelaam huye to
Samjho poori huyi tapasyaa
Roothe divas manaane walon! Phati kameez silaane waalon!
Kuch deepon ke bujh jaane se aangan nahin mara karta hai

Khota kuch bhi nahin yahan par
Kewal zild badaltee pothee (pothee –book)
Jaise raat utaar chandani
Pehne subah dhoop ki dhoti
Vastra badal kar aane waalon ! Chaal badalkar jaane waalon!
Chand Khilounon ke khone se bachpan nahin maraa karta hai

Laakhon baar gagriyaan phooteen
Shikan na aayi panghat par
Lakhon baar kishtiyaan doobeen
Chahal-pehal waisi hai tat par
Tam ki umar badhaane waalon! Lau ki aayu ghatane waalon ! (tam-darkness)
Laakh kare patjhad koshish par upvan nahin maraa kartaa hai

Loot liya maali ne upvan
Luti na lekin gandh phool ki
Toofaanon tak ne cheda par
Khidki band na huyi dhool kee
Nafrat gale lagaane waalon! Sab par dhool udaane waalon
Kuch mukhdon ki naaraazee se darpan nahin maraa karta hai

Chip Chip ashru bahaane waalon
Moti vyarth lutane waalon !
Kuch sapnon ke mar jane se jeevan nahin mara karta hai

Gopal Das 'Neeraj'

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Thoughts @ 3:00 AM


(View from my Balcony)


It’s almost 3:00 AM of Sunday morning and still sleep is nowhere in the sight, was reading a book for last couple of hours but eventually got bored with it. Looking through the glass wall next to my bed towards the city lights and they appeared to have slowing embraced the darkness of the night - like a soul unites with the long lost love - as if it was its only destiny and it is just a matter of time before the eventual happens. Let me stop reading right away and will go through the last 10 pages again as I feel it is a crime to readan amazing piece of literature when mind is completely not in it – I cannot commit this debauchery to the author – I owe it to her (Ayn Rand)

I asked my mind “What in the hell are you up to?” but as usual it ignored me and instead choose to wander from light to light - lit in streets of the city - witnessing the dance of love between light and the darkness. Light and Darkness are the two extremes and are never meant to be together but whenever I witness an sunset or just before morning sunrise why do they always give the illusion as if they are long lost lovers – breaking their respective boundaries, embracing each other in a divine way a creating something new in the process givingeach other something to cherish till they meet again….

Humm, so I picked up my lappy, plugged in my earphones, started playing my fav my music and started writing this note. Feeling a bit different while writing this as so far as I have never done anything like this!! (come on – writing a blog just before the break of day when I had not slept for last 20+ hours is gotta be weird by any one standards). My day was neither busy nor idle – Got some important chores done in the morning, went to the market for the usual home stuff and came back around evening, had a very late lunch, talked with couple of friends and then moved on to the book read part, carried it till late night and decided to retire for night.On the bed when I checked with myself the sleep was nowhere in sight - wanted to spend some time on net but damn the Vodafone guys (they have been telling me there cable installation will complete in next one week and I will have a net connection very soon since last 3 months, but the moment is yet to arrive) and the net is NOT working on phone as well. This is one thing which I would like to change about the amazing city of Bangalore – I have not any single vendor who gets the job done in the timeline given by them…

Any ways lets move away from this stuff..
I do not want to rant about anybody.. its my blog and I would rather keep it about my thoughts instead of some insignificant rants…..

It is interesting when to put yourself on a hot seat and start questioning your self – asking yourself the un comfortable question which you usually avoid and at times even completely ignore their existence. I decided let me do that to myself…. It was an interesting experience – and I learned something from it.

Seeds of Anticipation are sown in the mind and they evolve in to plant of reality over period of time. If these are not treated with the proper attitude and mental makeup they will end up bearing the fruit of dejection….

~lokesh v. (XI)

Interesting thought / learning (or whatever u call it), may be a tad pessimistic but realistic – I will say. I would say whenever you feel dejected, see it this way – who is responsible for it… and you will figure it out that life ain’t a dream and reality is not always sweet….. the problem is in you – your lack of will / mental makeup –is causing you trouble in swallowing the pill of reality and resulting in dejection…. Do not make any one else a scape goat for it. No one in the world likes to fail on other’s expectations, everyone tries their levels best to get the nod of consent, appreciation or acknowledge coming from the heart, eyes full of admiration; but at times things do not work out. May be it was the circumstances, may be it was destiny, may be you were in a different place or may be the writing was on the wall all along but you failed to read it……

Mind is a most complex and funny thing - it can run thousands of things parallel, store infinite pieces of memories, arrive at many difficult decision but still yet fail miserably at times to read the easiest of the situations or refuses to accept the inevitable…..

Ha Ha Ha……………. Just read what I have written above, something funny shit… but as a promise to myself made on my first blog entry - I’m not gonna delete anything – these are the first thoughts which came to my mind and they deserve to be there (I guess!)

My last song on the playlist – you sang to me - is getting over now, let me give another shot at sleeping (gotta get the car fixed in the morning)

Adios
~lokesh v.


Thursday, March 1, 2012

Thoughts, Chords, Emotions and Music

Consider your thoughts as chords and your emotions deriving from thoughts as music derives from chords. Now whenever you feel high from emotions listen to them – do they sound melodious or a collection of some noises or screams? If they sound like the collection of noises then there is something which isn’t right and you need to refine your thoughts.

~lokesh v. (XII)