The Butterfly Effect on Relationships

So here am I again, sitting on my reading chair with laptop in my lap, listening to the oldies from 50’s - after wrapping an Interesting read from an old timer and thinking to start a new one or let the mind ponder on the thoughts of the read I just completed…..All the books I have read in last few months have blessed me with a new perspective of thinking and understanding the human emotions, mind and reactions in a new different way.. The last one I read dealt closely with the under currents of the human relations and sexuality. 

Now coming to the thought process with which I started this note; what I learned from this book was

Human mind and soul are like sea, when you are about to get close to them all you see is lots and lots of waves of emotions and reactions, and whence you cross the initial boundary and move towards the uncharted waters, you may not see all the violent currents which attracted / despised you in the first place but it does in NO WAY means that the inside is hollow and there is nothing left to be known; in fact it is usually the opposite – the inside is far deep than you can imagine– the top layer of sea is just cover for the depth of the underlying currents and it contains a vast and complex ecosystem of multiple traits inside. Sometimes a very small change in tis ecosystem causes a butterfly effect sort of impact causing a big storm on the shore.

We most of the times tend to look at the change from outside and attempt to address the problem from the same place instead of understanding the root cause and addressing it; this may help in putting a wrapper on the issue like putting over ripen food in the back of the fridge, but is actually does not fixes the problem and ends up stinking the whole damn place with its smell. This process is the commonly referred as “mutual understanding”;

Sounds weird? isn’t it…? – I mean what a term like “mutual understanding” had got to do with the warning signals of a stinking relationship which is in a downward spiral? Well it is quite simple actually, if you think a bit deeper on trying on understand this so called “mutual understanding”; you will end up observing that what most of us call “Mutual Understanding” is nothing but a blanket covering the state of status – quo of a tug of war between the expectations and commitments between two personalities.

Now the important aspects is how many times we catch these warning signals and make a sincere effort to fix them instead of getting indulged in to the blame games and trying to prove our self a victim of situation – I would say very rare of the times…. So from what I have learned from life, reads, experiences (mine and others), for any kind of relationship / feelings to work over a period of time we need to be on a constant look out for these warning signals, trying to a understand the core of the issues and then discussing these core issues, instead of letting the staleness kill the beautiful aroma of love…..

~lokesh v (XXXVIII)