Life - a journey through un-solved riddles

Life is a weird journey. It blesses you with the presents which you have never dreamed off and cherish them always; and it throws stones at you at most unexpected times which leave a permanent scar on your soul. It presents itself with the simplistic answers to the most complex questions you are facing at times; and it presents you the most complex questions (in fact impossible to understand and grasp) from the simplistic situations.

How many times we are left wondering, asking our self – what I did wrong, how could I had better reacted to the situation, what is going on in other person’s mind?? We may come up with the answers sometimes but there are many many times when we came up with none… and trust me these un-answered are the ones which keep on rolling inside the small head of ours like a kid rolling a marble inside the jar creating some kind of a noise – bearable for some time but gives us an extreme kind of an head ache over a prolonged period and appears incurable. It gives us a visualization as if you are hanging over some kind of a cliff – neither failing from it, nor coming to the safe side of it; we look for an exit – either be safe or be dead but get nothing at all and then we scream inside our head.... a scream which no one hears other than our self…. at helpless-ness and inability to get rid of all this negative energy…

Another interesting aspect of human nature is to look for a scapegoat… Whenever something goes wrong the first thing mind starts’ doing is – to look for the scape goat – the one who can be blamed for the whole situation…. at times there can be someone responsible.. it can be yourself and may be someone else, but it is also probable that no one is responsible for it. Why look for some scape goat any way…. and what is the damn point?? No one can turn back the handles of thing called time and re-live the moment differently. If there is someone who can be blamed for it, what is the point…what the mind will get in crucifying the scape goat, beside some moments of self-satisfaction and anyways the moment gone is moment lost….There is no point in self-loathing as well – it is like punishing yourself for the things which you had (not have) no control or made a forgiving humane error of judgement…

Switching to the self-critique mode - the million dollar question for me is to blame life or my mind for the times when I find myself in an un-comfortable situation and lose my cool and composure. Yes at times I’m at fault for sure but if you ask me am I at fault all the times – I will disagree, so how to maintain a graceful face when you think you do not deserve the shit thrown at you. It is not even about failing to meet the expectations; it is primarily about not having a fighting chance to come out clean from a situation…..? May be the only remedy which can fix it is time, but who has got that much patience in today's world….

Well All I tell my self in these kinda situations as Winston Churchill once said – “If you are going thru Hell, KEEP GOING!!!”

Adios

~lokesh v. (XXII)